Baking a bun in the oven. Again.

  

I am sorry for losing personal touch with this blog. My last few posts were still from my heart, but I wish I have written something more personal like I used to.

Anyway, I am not sure if you already know, but Alhamdulillah, I am now 9 weeks pregnant. Yes, it’s the first trimester. My new best friend is my bed and my pillows, and surprisingly my comfort food these days are cold juicy fruits, especially when I am feeling all queasy and nauseous. I also have some trouble sleeping, this time I have very vivid dreams and always wake up in the middle of the night. Thanks, hormones.

I tried to continue with my exercises and all, but I have to surrender for the moment because at the end of the day my eyes are droopy and I find myself not wanting anything but crawl on to bed (not even dinner!). If it is not for Bella, I think I would have dozed off as early as 7pm.

Bella has been a sweetheart with the pregnancy news so far. She is a little clingy nowadays, but it’s still manageable. I find myself already missing her, so these 9 months I will do my best to enjoy giving her my full attention before the baby comes.

She seems to understand that I have a baby growing in my tummy. Every time she accidentally knocked on my tummy she would say sorry to the baby. How sweet.

I have not been to the OBGYN yet, but I will do soon. I am looking forward to try for a natural and vaginal birth (VBAC); I hope Allah eases my way and make it possible. It has to start with getting myself informed and choosing a supportive doctor.

I admit that I am a pro-choice mother. I prefer to be informed of my options – the risks and the benefits. If possible, I always want things go the way nature intended it to be. So, I am open to the idea of gentle birthing with unnecessary interventions. I want to do it, if I am capable to.

Some people do not understand why I am supportive about gentle birthing. I guess if they open up and take some time to listen to how I felt about my previous pregnancy and birthing experience (or the reasons of other moms who has the same experience as me), then maybe they would understand. It’s not like I am banning the idea of doctors and hospitals though, I do feel that we all still need their expertise when it is needed.

Home-birth? Nah, I am not going that way. So don’t worry, heheh.

Baby is just the size of an olive now. I hope it will grow strong and safe inside my womb, and I can’t wait to get past 12 weeks!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go munch on some strawberries pronto.