Jealous or envy - which one are you?

So here is another confession.

Once in a while, I could not help aching my heart with envy.

Oh come on, don't tell me you have never experienced it? Never? Oh OK, good for you.

Anyway, people say envy is good but not until it turns into jealousy. Envy is mostly wanting to be in par with that certain thing that we are envying, knowing to work just as hard to achieve the same thing (or simply wishing we are as lucky). Jealousy, is when we start making all the necessary efforts to make the person that we envy miserable. Like making rumours, or wishing them bad things or badmouthing them. I guess that is where the haters come from. They are just jealous.

As I grow older, peers and people around my network also grow with me. Back then everyone was busy with exams, monkey loves, now we are busy with getting married, having kids, and achieving more things in life.

Some turned out great, some turned out so so, some are not very lucky. That is life.

Rezeki masing masing kan....

But God help me when those fortunate people post about their tangible achievements like a new ride, a designer handbag, lavish children's clothing, luxurious holidays, big incomes - my heart, aching with envy could not help but question - really, what is their point? Well, yes, you worked hard for it, that is fair enough but when you boast about it all the time, really, what is your point??

Take branded goods for example. I am sorry, maybe it's just me, but these days I could not help but perceive that a good life is mostly defined by being able to afford all those luxurious branded and capitalized goods. Some to the extent that says - hey look, I worked so hard I am able to afford this, don't you think you should too?

I personally thing that it swerves a little. That sounds kinda off to me.

I don't know, maybe it's just me. Maybe my definition of a good life is not that, maybe my definition is being more content that I am able to do what I love to do, being free to express what I feel, and simply being loved.

Or maybe I am in denial.

Like I said, it's envy. I admit that I have envy. If I go along with it, it makes me feel so low, so underachieved. When the fact is that I already have more than enough to live this life, compared to other more unfortunate people out there.

Sometimes I feel like I want to slap myself. But God help me, I am just human, just like the rest of us.

So sometimes, when envy looms, I find solace in these kind of thoughts :

{via Pretty Providence}

Or maybe hitting the Unfollow button works too.Eheh.


Huda@Hood said…
Suka sangat dengan entry ni!

Qistin Fadzin said…
I'm with u in this, dear... Our material possession should not define our lives.

Your entry reminded me of my old draft as to my way of handling envious feelings - that is praying for more blessings to them. It's like beating the satan for all the bad feelings & our heart will blooms. Plus, the prayers will come back to us in manifold!
Such an honest inspiring post. It really made me take a long hard look at my own character and weaknesses. Thanks for sharing this.
Ayuni A. said…
Thank you for the comments ladies. I am glad that you can also relate to my point of view :)

Salaam, Savouring Mommy Moments. Have not seen you around before, thanks for dropping by :)

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