On a new vision.

Have I told you that it is in fact quite challenging, juggling between work and a baby? I guess some people may say that I am in no position to complain, given that I only have one baby at this moment, other people is worst, blablabla, but then again...it IS hard.

I really from the bottom of my heart, admire, the mommies who survived so far. Some of my friends even have more than one kid now, and still manage to work and be a mom at the same time.

As for me, I have long decided that I am not a career woman material. The prospect of being high up the career ladder is no longer appealing to me especially since I became a mommy. It may sound like a cliche but that is how mommyhood overpowered me. Well to add to it, I also have never envisioned myself as an important someone anyway.

Instead, these days i find myself constantly "envisioning" what activities I am going to carry out with my children for the day, what meal to cook, how to decorate the nursery or my children's bedroom and maybe try baking again. I envision myself being busy sending and fetching my kids to and from school, or perhaps music classes. I dream of gathering my children for prayers and their father as the imam. I also see myself getting more in touch of my creative side again, perhaps doing more writing or just some simple scrapbooking or crafting.

Those are what I dream of lately. Sometimes I wonder whether it sounds too ambitious or too perfect. Or maybe sounding like I am trying to be a happier version of Bree Van de Kamp. Do I sound that way?

Well whatever it is, this one I know for sure : that ultimately, I am going to achieve at least one (or two, or three) of the things I dreamt above.


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