Catch me when I fall


Sometimes, my 5 year old little girl can drive me crazy like a pre-teen.

I guess that is normal as she is already very in touch with her feelings and choose to express it very clearly, regardless of whether it is a good or bad feeling.

In a way I think it is a healthy sign that she is able to show her emotions well. With that I do hope that she does not keep sad or angry emotions tucked deep inside her heart and let it turn into resentments, especially towards her own parents.

Anyway last night I was a little frustrated with her being so bossy and "taknak mengalah" with her little brother. Sometimes I just let it go and try to bear with the squabble. But there are times when it just drives me up the wall.

So she did get some scolding from me, and as usual she will show her protest by behaving quite "loudly" - that style where she stomps her feet and make sounds with her movement and all.

When we were getting ready for bed, she was still showing her protest but she clearly also wanted my attention. I was calming down and ready to let everything go and cuddle with her and her brother and all.

I did not know exactly what she was trying to do but suddenly her jerky movements sent her towards the end of the bed and she ended hitting the wall with a thud. 

I turned around and saw her curled on the floor, with a confused face. I guess it was not that painful but she seems to be deciding what kind of face to put on. In that dimly lit room (only the night-lamp was on), I saw a mix of  I-am-gonna-cry, how-did-that-happened, and about-to-laugh face.

I was pretty sure that it did not hurt her that much, so I let out a little laugh and asked if she is OK. As expected she did not take it well. Perhaps I made the wrong move and she got even angrier. Oops haha.

She stood up and lied on the comforter on the floor while I still struggle to keep my laughter within me (I swear the whole situation was so funny coz we did not even know how she could end up banging the wall and all! Wish I could describe it with words hahah).

So I said to her "Laa Bella, becareful next time. How did you fall like that?"

She did not answer that question. But what she said next was the turning point and it just melted all my frustrations with her attitude away.

"Kalau Bella fall, mommy catch la Bella" ("If I fall, you should catch me mommy") she said with a solemn face.

Awwhhh...Now I really did not see that coming from her.

Guilt quickly crept on me and I quickly got down to her level and offered her a hug and reassured her.

"Ohh..mommy tak sempat nak catch Bella tadi. Kalau Bella jatuh mestila mommy always catch you" 
("I did not have time to catch you just now.  I'd definitely catch you whenever you fall dear")

Thankfully, she seems to be more content after that. Then we all read some book and we all went to bed happily ever after.

Pheww..

Gah, parenting is always tricky. Sometimes I don't even know if my responses and action are right or wrong. You will always have your child's best interest at heart, but at times it also requires you to be sort of the "bad guy". 

The kids are just babies now. I just wish that I'll survive their teenage years when it comes to that later.

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