Keeping the balance between siblings

These days I found myself working harder to strike a balance.

I used to be afraid that my love for my first born would deplete when I get a second child. When Bella was a baby, I admit that I cried when I thought about getting her a sibling. There was this guilt that I felt, something like abandoning her or something. So I held on to the idea until I was really ready, and when I felt like she was.

But the love-depleting feeling was totally wrong.

In fact, gushes of love just came out of nowhere, and surprisingly it is more than enough to shower both of them extras. Like I love Bella 200% and I love Khaleeli 200%. Something like that.

Khaleeli is getting older now, and boy he really knows how to put up a challenge with her sister.

I find myself having to put on the referee hat so many times in a day, struggling hard to be fair and let them know that I am trying.

Sometimes I gave Bella the merits, sometimes Khaleeli.

I try to teach Bella to give-in to her little brother, you know, anak sulung kena mengalah kan? But sometimes I also don't want to put too much pressure on her.

Khaleeli on the other hand does not know better. He is after all a carefree 1 year old who still thinks that the world revolves around him. If he was forced to back down, I had to bear with his protest. But thankfully he is easily distracted. Phew..

I even subconciously try to make everything fair for them, even at sewing.

Like today I finished a dress for Bella, and the next project has to be something for Khaleeli. Vice versa.

The same thing happens during shopping for their stuff too. I dunno, it just felt that I am obliged to do so.

Aiyo, only 2 children and this is hard already. I don't know how parents with more children do it.

Other than that, I do enjoy the view most of the time. The sight of them playing together in peace always makes my day. And it also baffles me how I managed to come to this. I guess I am more capable than what I think. We always underestimate ourself don't we?

So how do you maintain a balance between your children? Any methods worth sharing? I am all ears! :)